I Just Wanna Choke This Lady Out!!

This one is for the husbands....well, it's actually for all of us.  But the spouses will appreciate this one more than most of my blogs!  The spouse and I went to a BarBQ recently at the home of some very close friends.  There were some guests there we did not know and, of course, guests that we did know.   Well....the whole reason I am writing about this is because there was something about this BarBQ that has been eatin' at me.  Yes, I said eatin' at me....no pun intended.  Well those who read this blog and those who know me well, will attest to the fact that I try very hard to surround myself with positive people and positive thoughts.  You see, I am a firm believer in 'there is nothing you can do about it now....it will work itself out...worrying about it is not going to change it.'  It's hard to live that way but I try my best.  That doesn't mean that the occasional morsel of negativity does not come out of my mouth. BarBQ:  A guest at this BarBQ (we will call her Ms. Jinx) was so incredibly negative and pessimistic.  No matter how hard I tried to overlook her negativity, I just couldn't.  I sat in awe of her all night long.  She was like a really bad accident.  You don't want to look, but you have to.  She was like a black hole just sucking the life out of me.   Like a vampire....she was robbing me of my positive energy!  Judy Orloff wrote a book called "Positive Energy".  She describes negative people as "sob sisters", "drama queens", and "the blamer".  Nicely put.  And just so happens to describe this lady perfectly.    So I watched Ms. Jinx all night long.  I was amazed by her behavior.  I know I must have been driving the spouse crazy because I would look over every few minutes and say, "Can you believe what she just said?"  or "Oh my gosh!  She is terrible!"  or "I don't know how her poor husband lives with her!"   Then I started wondering...."Am I anything like that?"  And since I have been thinking about it for the last couple of weeks, I started to wonder if I behaved like that myself at times.  Do I suck the life out of the people around me?  Am I as positive as I claim to be?  Well, most definitely not!  That would be ridiculous!  Anyway...back to Ms. Jinx.  At one point during the evening,  Mr. Jinx came over and asked Ms. Jinx if he could go do something.  OK!!  NOW I AM REELING!!  What?  Did he really just ask her for permission to go do something????  OMG!  Yes he did!! Gosh I hope I never treat the spouse that way!  I have heard the spouse ask his friends if they need a permission slip to go do something....it's funny.  Sometimes we don't realize the situation of another.  But why treat the spouse like a child?  Don't you know that it will only make him resent you?
(Side note:  Some people say that you cannot believe in positive energy and God at the same time.  Well I think that's a craptastic way to look things.  We will not argue the existence of positive energy and negative energy as opposed to leading a Christian life and/or believing in a Supreme Being. That is not what this blog is about...that is an argument for another day!)
Ms. Jinx had control over me.  Why was she so hurt?  Did she hate her job?  Was her marriage an unhappy one?  Does she have a good relationship with her family?  Does she have a family?  I knew nothing about Ms. Jinx.  Nothing.  Well I take that back.  I knew she was an unhappy person.  I knew she had a spouse.  Maybe she just wanted to be heard.  I began to notice that she rarely spoke to anyone other than her spouse and when she did, she was complaining about something or another.  How depressing.  I began to feel weak and drained.  She WAS a vampire.  I didn't think they existed, but here was a real "live" vampire right in front of my face.  And she looked nothing like Edward or Jacob.  (Had to throw that in there for the Twi-hard fans!)  If she had looked like Edward or Jacob, it wouldn't have mattered what words came out her mouth!  I tried to remain completely detached but I couldn't do it.  I realize that I still see her in my head because I fear that I may be just like her.  Well I refuse to be a Ms. Jinx!  Since I am intelligent and all, here is how I will handle this:

1.  If I create a negative state of mind by reacting in a less than positive manner – no matter how justified that reaction may be – I will have created that negative state of mind.  It will be my fault.  I will not be labeled as "the blamer."  The two year old gets me to react in horrible ways sometimes.  So does the spouse.  And that makes it sound like the spouse is like the two year old---not so!  (Sorry babe!)  Oops!  That was like getting a shot.  This is me cringing.

 

2.  Trash some folks:  get rid of the negative people in my life. So I won't be able to get rid of people I work with.  I can't get a new family.  So maybe I won't be able to get rid of all the negative people in my life, but I sure can limit any interaction I have with them!   Recently I made some people mad.  I am a Facebook junkie;  addicted to it.  I see a lot of negative comments on Facebook.  It usually comes from women.  Very rarely do I see any negative comments come from men, and when I do, it is because of something that happened at work or something a woman did to them.  But women are ruthless and mean.  Mostly to each other!   I know we are.  I am one.  My Facebook was draining me, too....tired of the negativity.  So I deleted some people.  Oops!  Another shot.   Use your recycle bin regularly and you won't have to listen to it anymore.  Now I am up to date on all my shots.

3. "You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile!"  There are several studies to indicate that people are happier when they smile.  Whether you have a reason or not.  Smile like you mean it.

4.  Pay It Forward.  Great movie.  Do something nice for someone.  It will make you both feel better.

5.  Find the positive:  while I was in complete and total awe of Ms. Jinx, I should have found the good in the whole situation.  I didn't.  I have now!  She is the reason I am looking at my own positive and negative energies!  I will look for something good to come out of negative things.  As I type, the 15 year old is sitting in a chair behind me.  Not because he wants to, but because he has to.  Kind of a teenage time out.  He would absolutely kill me if he knew I was typing this!  I am sure it would ruin his social life....Oh that would be terrible.  I am sure he will find the positive in the situation in about 20 years...when he has a teenager of his own.

6.  Meditation:  There are dozens of ways to meditate.  Some have different views of what meditation actually is.  I like the whole sit-and-listen-to-soft-music-by-Norah-Jones-and-Anoushka-Shankar kind of meditating.  I am also partial to the prayer bead thing.  Prayer is a powerful thing and some people actually feel better after they do it.  You have to find your own way to manufacture time to look within yourself and find peace.

I think that's enough.  I can't do too much at one time...I can be a good multi-tasker, but I am not good enough to have 8 steps.  That's why I hope I never have a drinking problem.  I would never make it through AA.  Choose to be content with what you already have.  Look around you and be grateful for all that you see. Realize that there are people less fortunate than you and right now they are praying for what you have right now.  What were you wishing or praying for 3 years ago?  Is it anything like what you have right now?  

This is where I thank Ms. Jinx for being a nasty lady. I did want to choke her out.  The spouse made comment that he would have to hit her in her mouth if he had to live with her.  There is my answer!  The spouse has never hit me in the mouth, therefore, I must not be a vampire!  Either that, or he is afraid of going to jail.....And now I am like Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  Time to look on the brighter side because the grass is greener right where I am standing.  It just takes too much time to realize it. 

 

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable..
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser." That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome .
"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."
"Oh, really! What did he say ?"
He said: "My Poor Child, who hacked up your hair?"

 

Sidenote:  Are there chicks that really dress like this?  I am sure somebody does.

I mean, why would you even wear that out in the cold?  Those boots aren't even waterproof!